Parenting Styles & How They Impact Your Marriage
Parenting can bring out the very best in us—and sometimes the hardest parts, too. When you and your partner have different parenting styles, what starts as a small disagreement about bedtime routines or screen time can quickly turn into ongoing tension that spills over into your marriage.
Understanding how parenting styles affect your relationship can help you strengthen not only your marriage but also your family as a whole.
Common Parenting Styles and Their Impact
Authoritative (Balanced & Nurturing)
Partners who lean toward this style tend to value structure and warmth. When both parents agree on this approach, the relationship often feels collaborative. However, if one parent leans more permissive, conflict may arise about being “too strict” or “too soft.”Authoritarian (Strict & Rule-Focused)
Couples where one partner is more rigid may experience friction if the other prefers flexibility. This can create a “good cop/bad cop” dynamic, leaving both parents feeling unsupported.Permissive (Easygoing & Lenient)
A more permissive parent might clash with a partner who prioritizes structure. Over time, disagreements about boundaries may turn into resentment if not addressed openly.Example: One parent may insist that the kids stick to an 8 p.m. bedtime every night, while the other thinks it’s fine if they stay up late on weekends. What feels like a small difference can quickly turn into repeated arguments, where one parent feels undermined and the other feels criticized.
Uninvolved (Hands-Off or Distracted)
This style can strain marriages the most, as one partner may feel burdened with the majority of parenting responsibilities.
Why Parenting Differences Matter in Marriage
When you and your spouse approach parenting differently, it can lead to feelings of frustration, misunderstanding, or even disconnection. Instead of working as a team, couples sometimes fall into cycles of blame or withdrawal. Over time, this not only impacts your marriage but also the security your children feel at home.
The good news? With support, couples can learn to communicate more effectively, respect one another’s values, and find a shared parenting approach that strengthens their bond.
Finding Balance Together
Communicate openly about your parenting goals and values.
Acknowledge your differences instead of trying to “fix” your partner.
Seek outside support when conversations feel stuck or repetitive.
At Practicing Wholeness, we help couples navigate the challenges of parenting differences so that your relationship feels stronger—not more strained. Through couples therapy, you can rebuild connection, learn practical tools for teamwork, and create a home environment where both your marriage and your family can thrive.
